Comments on: How Learning My Attachment Style Helped Me Feel Secure

By: Sunny

Sunny — Tue, 22 Jul 2025 15:56:43 +0000

Cheyanne, thank you for clearly articulating the four attachment styles. The Gibson quote really helped to identify the mismatch I frequently feel as a person with Avoidant attachment style. As another Commenter pointed out, I think some people close to me like the fact that I do not complain or ask for what I need. It is very hard for me to be vulnerable as I have had that used against me, even in supposedly close relationships. I am so grateful I have two daughters who encourage me to be open with them. It is a gift I don’t take for granted.

By: Anonymous User

Anonymous User — Tue, 12 Dec 2023 14:16:23 +0000

Thank you for this story on Attachment Personalities! It was completely in my wheel house and right on target for how I respond to questions about me. I have so much baggage in this dept and it feels good to know that I am not alone.

By: Cheyanne

Cheyanne — Tue, 05 Dec 2023 19:18:17 +0000

In reply to Lia Kulla. Yes!! I listened to that podcast too, Lia. I've quoted what Dr. Becky Kennedy says in that episode several times over: "Attraction in adulthood is activation of our earliest attachment patterns. Our body is saying, 'I know how to be the corresponding puzzle piece to this person. This feels like home even if home hurts.'" Such a stellar episode. I hope they have her on again! Wishing you all the best on your journey toward secure attachment. I'm right there with you!

By: Susan Moore

Susan Moore — Fri, 01 Dec 2023 21:56:03 +0000

I am a 78 year old woman. Three years ago I chose to make a commitment to build a relationship with a deeply calm and kind man.
He brings security and safety to my life, and I offer excitement, connection and change. To move forward with him I had to face my fears about intimacy and connection and develop new skills. Previously I felt I had little or no choice over my behavior and life, now I find choices always existed—I just could not see them. I feel privileged to be in a kind, loving and committed relationship at this life stage. I was content being without a partner, but our life together is far better than I could have imagined.

By: Natalia

Natalia — Thu, 30 Nov 2023 18:26:38 +0000

Beautifully written. I can relate 100%.
I used to think that ‘moving the needle’ from Avoidant to Secure was impossible. However, I have come to realize that Anything is possible! And sharing a little more here and there, definitely develops our Trust in others and in ourselves. We CAN move from fear to love.

By: Anonymous User

Anonymous User — Thu, 30 Nov 2023 14:45:02 +0000

Loved this article, however, I do think that people with avoidant attachment styles attract the types of relationships they know. Not that they are great relationships it is just what we know…. people too busy to really care, people more self-absorbed, with their own lives. I found myself in this article but when I really stop to think about my close relationships, I am not sure they would be safe to grow and share with. Sadly, I think my life partner appreciates that I do not complain or express much disappointment in the things going on in my life. I am very self -conscious about going on about anything to anyone.

By: Lia Kulla

Lia Kulla — Thu, 30 Nov 2023 12:21:01 +0000

This article pretty much mirrors my own recent experience. For me it was a podcast by the amazing Glennon Doyle. It started me on the path to learning my attachment style, also avoidant, and with the help of my therapist moving towards secure. It’s an ongoing process but it’s also a journey that I’m happy to be on.